goodbye 2009, hello 2010.

looking back on last year, i've realized there wasn't actually much point to it. i've had a few shitty relationships, made some new friends and just coasted my way through. there are only a points which stand out; the stevenage night where we met all the st chris boys, got waste then stayed at some random boy's house in stevenage, the fight between my boyfriend at the time and one of my exes which was so painful to watch, and results day, where we went into school to get our english lit. gcse results. the weather was so hot that day. also, my birthday - both my actual birthday where me and mayce went and took loads of photos in bancroft after school, and my birthday party where i got so drugged up i can't remember anything except how cold it was when we finally snuck in mayce's house at half three in the morning. oh, and the fight with difficult boy. or, not so much the fight, that lunchtime in the music block when i told him i didn't want to be friends with him anymore. so all in all, not much of a productive year, was it really?
         so, looking back on all that, i've made some resolutions. not the shitty, insignificant ones that i usually make, like to lose weight or stop biting my nails, but serious ones that i need to keep to get my life back on track.

1. quit smoking by 2011. if i don't quit soon, the moment will be gone and i won't be able to. i don't want to live in a house that stinks of stale cigarettes with a child that has asthma due to passive smoking.

2. to work. i don't want to open my results in august and want to cry because i haven't done as well as i could. so i need to start paying attention in school, revising properly and doing all my c/w and handing it in on time. like i said, i need to sort my life out.

3. to give up on difficult boy and find someone else. difficult boy's never gonna happen. i don't just mean as a relationship, i mean as a friendship. i need to sit down, shut up and get over it. as for the 'finding someone else...' that is my was of getting over it. when i feel strongly for someone, i never properly get over them until i find someone else to take their place. yeah, i'm strange.

4. to find my friends and keep them. i think i'm pretty sorted in that area already, like i have my close few. i think it's just solving the old arguments and rising above the petty rivalries. which, i think, comes with maturity anyway.

mmm, i'm feeling a cigarette on my roof. yes, i will quit, just not while i have a pack under my bed. more later, and a happy new year to all.