dear jim,

i meant the alcohol might induce me to have embarrass myself by having a massive go at enigma boy. the hurt's still there, but i just want to be civil. as some woman in a film my mum was watching said, "holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." i like that quote - it's so true. i'm going to use it in regards to difficult boy and enigma boy.
           jim, the reason why i talk about these two alot, is because of how much they hurt me. you haven't hurt me and i don't resent you. i love you to bits, but i'm confused as to how far that love stretches. platonic or romantic? i'm not sure. but i don't expect you to wait for me to unscramble my head. if you move on i'll have to accept that, because i don't want to hurt you. oh, and p.s i'm not going to get with enigma boy. i doubt there's enough alcohol to induce me to do that.